We have been slogging along in the blogging industry for a WHILE now (3 years to be exact). Its a tricky business, like all online and slightly creative endeavors seem to be. While our blog isn't always chocked full of grandiose artwork and finely tuned written pieces, it is full of love and friendship. But sometimes we get a little fed up with the whole thing. Both of us have found ourselves in the middle of a hot girl bummer, which is especially disappointing because at this time last year we were driving fast down a highway drinking sonic lemonades and eating tortillas from La Casita. So we're a little angsty, about anything and everything, and rather than wallowing in our bedrooms from two different states on different sides of the country, we're coming on here to do something productive and a little bit moody and aggressive. Every creative endeavor requires a lil bit of moody passion, so to kick things off for this new creative chapter in our lives, we're serving up heaps of moodiness, angst, and shouting into the void. Start things off right by streaming our playlist (links and a lengthy analysis on the playlist below) and then keep scrolling for the worst books we've ever read, misfit poetry and photography, adventures into the void, and some real talk about life as we know it. Lets live outrageously.
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This playlist is all about moody yet minorly uplifting music. The type of music you listen to in the rain or by candlelight. The type of music that makes you yearn for something just a little bit out of reach. Put on this playlist and get painting, or writing, or collaging, or knitting, whatever it is that you do. Let it fuel your spirits and your passion to be angsty and sad but also wonderful and passionate at the same time. Every artists journey starts somewhere, let yours start here with this moody af playlist. Link to spotify here!
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This playlist consists of the songs over the years that I've heard on the radio and screenshotted on my phone. I finally took the time to look back on all the songs and found that they worked pretty well in a moody playlist. Its my best work so far I think, so no, I will not be taking constructive criticism. The playlist is all based off of 'Don't Let Me Down' by Milky Chance and Jack Johnson, which I also heard on my favorite radio station back in Grand Junction. My favorite song definitely is a tie between 'Patience Gets Us Nowhere Fast' and 'Salt and the Sea'. But of course, all of them are good, and I think all of them match this month's theme of being a lil moody but also a lil upbeat. Enjoy!
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Anti-Book Reviews : The Worst Books You Should Never Read
There are some bad books that you can just let go. Those type of books, like The Sun is Also a Star, are easy to dislike and forget about. You can give them to Goodwill and be done with it, or keep it on your shelf but know deep down you’ll never pick it up again. Maybe in a passing conversation you’ll mention that you didn’t like it, or when it inevitably gets made into a Netflix original film – looking at you again The Sun is Also a Star – maybe you’ll casually drop a comment to whoever you’re scrolling through Netflix with that you read the book and hated it, but beyond that the book will just remain at the back of your mind as something that was just a bit of a waste of time. And then there are the other type of bad books, the ones you can’t let go of no matter how hard you try. The books that set the bar as low as it can possibly go for terrible books. Books that make you dislike reading. Books that you dislike so severely you feel compelled to actually go onto Goodreads and give it a one star rating and a scathing review because your dislike for it runs so deep that the only cure for your annoyance is complaining to anonymous strangers on the internet. Those are the books we’re here to discuss today.
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h doesn't recommend... The Problem with Forever by Jennifer L. Armentrout
I was on the book side of Tik Tok (don't judge me, it's been a rough month) and I saw so many people raving and recommending this book. So of course I had to read it and see what all the hype was about. While I was reading this book I didn't have a problem with. I enjoyed the author's writing style and the story flowed nicely but was a little slow at times. I realized that I didn't actually like this book when I was talking about it to g. She asked me what it was about and I couldn't give her a description of the plot. The majority of the novel is the main character going throughout her day and is her thoughts about the people around her and situations that occur. Yes, I could list off things that happened in the book but they didn't serve as a main plot line but rather sub-plots. This book is a bunch of sub-plots and a stream of thought. SPOILER AHEAD (ISH). When books don't kill off main characters when it makes sense for them to be killed, I judge the author. Take a risk and just kill them off. Yes that means you won't get a happy ending but it opens the door for so much more. In real life you don't always get a happy ending and not everything gets wrapped up in a perfect bow, just kill the main character. |
The Lost Travel Diary
by h
Earlier this summer my parents and I drove from Colorado to Ohio so I could bring my car to college. Spending over 24 hours in the car is as terrible as it sounds. The only thing getting me through was coke zero and taking huji pictures. I was going to post them sooner but then life got in the way. I didn’t want my adventure to go without notice, so here it lives in a lost travel diary.
The Misfits : A Poetry Collection
by g
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Misfit #1
round, black sunglasses that look so small and ridiculous they cannot possibly be flattering until she puts them on her face and you become aware that she is onto something that everyone else has been left out of. bright purple nail polish has become a staple in a world of nudes and neutrals and she is suprised not everyone paints their nails shiny and bright considering the compliments she gets. she is a collection of things that should never work, floral socks above the ankle, glitter for eyeliner, wide legged pants, and platform sneakers and platform boots and platform sandals. her face is uncovered and her voice is unheard and her eyes are constantly on the move looking all around to find their pair and seeing no one. everyone else in black jeans and white sneakers and tight little shirts a collection of things that work together at a glance. she looks and finds nothing only mascara and nothing more. |
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Misfits #4
stupid silly little ears for poking fun at that poke from beneath once sandy hair that is chopped and bleached now. Button downs on laundry days pressed black pants to afternoon classes on a wednesday when maybe the weather is a bit too hot for walking to class but you walk anyways because its nice to be beneath the trees and feel the rush of the cars going past knowing you could step out at any second in front of them on your way to class. sometimes when you walk on a friday you think of the night before and how it was too much for a thursday and now you feel silly for crying over friends that are too good and girls that are too mean and feelings that are too big and stifling leaning against the doorframe with a cup in your hand rubbing your sore nose leaning into a girl whose significance lies in the fact that she knew the one you loved. so you tell her about the hurt and the loss and how you hope to get better. you think of this all as you walk to class with a black sweatshirt and black sweatpants with the bottoms tucked in to white socks and a loss too heavy to bear. |
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Misfits #5
a smile broken by one imperfect tooth. faint freckles that can only be seen in the final rays of sunlight when you sit on the back porch on old and broken couches that have been stained by forgotten nights and forgotten people. green eyes that look grey unless you're close enough to kiss, their miracle lost if you stand too far back. everyone looks and smiles when your laugh rings out above the roar of the crowd and brings with it the kind of admiration in boring people who say "I wish I could be like that make people laugh like that". you wish that sometimes too on the nights when you knock over the tiny solo cup that holds dirt and a budding plant. you wish it when you break glass and fences and bannisters and in the daylight hours you sit on those worn couches and wonder where the man went who only made people laugh and who only laughed himself. there are days when you feel strange to everyone else but most importantly to yourself. you sit in your messy room in swim trunks because its laundry day and try to think beyond the life you know into the life you want. there is a peace there amidst the chaos in that life that's out of reach. the sad stage of life when you stare at the wall wishing to be older but knowing you are grown wishing to be motivated but knowing your ambition wishing to have energy but knowing your limitless strength wishing to have time but knowing you have plenty. |
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thank you, checkered vans
by g
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These vans, which I impulsively bought after thinking about it for 45 minutes, have ruled my summer. You can wear them without socks and they're comfy for walking around and sitting around and stomping through the river and driving long distances. They go with every thing, but are a fun twist on a simple staple. I think its important to have good shoes like this, having a signature shoe that will always complete your outfit is an important part of growing up and becoming an adult. So in a dramatic photo lay, and in a dramtic paragraph, and I am saying thank you to my checkered vans, but also giving a tour of the summer I've spent thus far in them.
The vans took me to work almost every day, where I interacted with children in meaningful and mostly mildly irritating ways. They took me to a public park in the middle of the night which h, where we were disappointingly met with the first tangible proof that a pandemic was happening, and the park was closed. They took me long distances to celebrate things both happy and sad. They kept me company on the car rides, the same canyons to get home, and the same stretch of waving grasslands between Denver and the springs. They took me to my new town Grand Junction, with its hidden treasures and sometimes not terrible sunsets. Most importantly, they took me home, to wherever that is, because now it seems to be changing, and thats okay, because really all I need is two shoes on my feet, and I'll get there.
The vans took me to work almost every day, where I interacted with children in meaningful and mostly mildly irritating ways. They took me to a public park in the middle of the night which h, where we were disappointingly met with the first tangible proof that a pandemic was happening, and the park was closed. They took me long distances to celebrate things both happy and sad. They kept me company on the car rides, the same canyons to get home, and the same stretch of waving grasslands between Denver and the springs. They took me to my new town Grand Junction, with its hidden treasures and sometimes not terrible sunsets. Most importantly, they took me home, to wherever that is, because now it seems to be changing, and thats okay, because really all I need is two shoes on my feet, and I'll get there.
the things left unsaid
by h
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the end of summer
by g
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I'll start off by saying that this summer just proved to me, once and for all, that life is just a series of lost expectations. I was expecting this summer to be full of fun adventures around my college town, hanging out with my friends by the pool, floating the river, sampling coffees from different shops downtown, and taking Rocky on visits to grassy fields. None of the above happened, and thus the summer became a big bummer.
To avoid this whole thing turning into me complaining and feeling sorry for myself, i will say that I acknowledge that I could've done more to make my summer better, but at the same time i woke each morning with a crushing feeling of boredom mixed with a total and complete lack of motivation.
Everything was closed. Everyone was home for the summer and not in Grand Junction. Each time I stepped outside I felt afraid that I would get sick or spread a disease. I got tired of being on my phone and watching TV, and that boredom spiraled into a loss of interest in everything, even cool activities like painting and reading.
So how do we cope? How do we cope during this time where everything feels sad and dead and distraught? How do we cope with school shutting down, interacting with our friends from a distance and watching them become distant in return? How do we cope with there being nothing to do, and how do we stop boredom from becoming a terribly sad feeling of loss and disinterest?
I certainly don't have the answers. I wish I did, because maybe then this post would be different. But I do know this: I am tired of being bummed out. I am bored of feeling sorry for myself. I am over the doomsday vibes this year and this summer have been cultivating. I am done feeling like life has no purpose. So I am going to move on, and im going to fight and claw my way through these next couple months with the hope that something will work and something will stick and that I can make things not feel terrible, even if everything around me is undeniably bad and bland.
Im nervous too. I'm nervous about school and losing valuable social time with my peers. I'm nervous about my community, and how it will react to this pandemic when the university students come back and everyone gets put at an increased risk. I'm nervous about this country and whether or not it with implode under the pressure that is being put on it. I'm nervous for the world, for our peace and our health and our lives.
But i will try to be brave, as I hope you all will too. I will turn to the simple joys that I have right now. The friends that are true and genuine and that put in effort even if things are tough and unpleasant. The solitary activities that give me joy, and the peace of mind that I need to cultivate within myself.
The one tangible life lesson I did learn from this hot girl bummer, beyond life being a series of lost expectations, is that the most important relationship you have is with yourself. I haven't been inwardly focused enough this summer, I put too much energy into other people, and too many expectations on them. In the spirit of quarantine, the most consistent companion you have is yourself, so focus on that, look there for happiness and peace. I know the next few months of my life will be filled with inevitable solitude, and the realistic expectation of 2 weeks of imposed quarantine. So im telling myself that its ok, because ill be with myself, and thats really all I need, because in many ways its all we have right now.
So how do we cope? How do we cope during this time where everything feels sad and dead and distraught? How do we cope with school shutting down, interacting with our friends from a distance and watching them become distant in return? How do we cope with there being nothing to do, and how do we stop boredom from becoming a terribly sad feeling of loss and disinterest?
I certainly don't have the answers. I wish I did, because maybe then this post would be different. But I do know this: I am tired of being bummed out. I am bored of feeling sorry for myself. I am over the doomsday vibes this year and this summer have been cultivating. I am done feeling like life has no purpose. So I am going to move on, and im going to fight and claw my way through these next couple months with the hope that something will work and something will stick and that I can make things not feel terrible, even if everything around me is undeniably bad and bland.
Im nervous too. I'm nervous about school and losing valuable social time with my peers. I'm nervous about my community, and how it will react to this pandemic when the university students come back and everyone gets put at an increased risk. I'm nervous about this country and whether or not it with implode under the pressure that is being put on it. I'm nervous for the world, for our peace and our health and our lives.
But i will try to be brave, as I hope you all will too. I will turn to the simple joys that I have right now. The friends that are true and genuine and that put in effort even if things are tough and unpleasant. The solitary activities that give me joy, and the peace of mind that I need to cultivate within myself.
The one tangible life lesson I did learn from this hot girl bummer, beyond life being a series of lost expectations, is that the most important relationship you have is with yourself. I haven't been inwardly focused enough this summer, I put too much energy into other people, and too many expectations on them. In the spirit of quarantine, the most consistent companion you have is yourself, so focus on that, look there for happiness and peace. I know the next few months of my life will be filled with inevitable solitude, and the realistic expectation of 2 weeks of imposed quarantine. So im telling myself that its ok, because ill be with myself, and thats really all I need, because in many ways its all we have right now.
